“Tell me about yourself” is a question most of us dread to hear on a first date or job interview. However, I’ve been avoiding that question my entire life. My identity has, until recently, been a confusing topic of conversation.
Growing up with a Puerto Rican mother and Dominican father with Haitian roots— identity was a debate. To my mother, I was Puerto Rican and Dominican. To my father, I was Black—simple.
Choosing how to identify felt like I was choosing between my parents. A choice no child should have to make. There was constantly a war in my head about who I was, and leaning into the Latino community didn’t make things easier.
According to cultural standards at the time, I wasn’t “Latina enough.” was deemed my body is not curvy, and I didn’t speak Spanish until my twenties. As a young girl growing up in the 90s, there wasn’t representation for women who shared my features within my community.
I discovered this while watching telenovelas with my mother. Those women shared attributes I so desperately wanted at the time. Curvy bodies, long straight or wavy hair, and Spanish rolling off the tongue.
Not only did I not feel “Latina enough,” I also didn’t feel pretty. Despite my developing insecurities, I found comfort in other women outside my community. Hilary Banks, a character played on , became my saving grace.
She was the first and only woman I knew who embraced her natural hair. Her coil texture was similar to mine. Her confidence was alluri.