In fact, if I search the word “catch up” in my WhatsApp, I yield hundreds of results. As adulthood has slowly unfurled itself, my social life has become much more about discussing what is happening in our respective lives, rather than actually actively taking a part in them. In place of attending festivals, yoga classes and exhibitions, I now send drawn-out voice notes about how my week has been.
Instead of booking last-minute weekends away, I hurry to a “quick coffee” to hear about my pal’s latest family holiday. I’m officially in my “catch-up friend” era, one that leaves little room for heartful, authentic, impulsive discussion; we miss out on sharing our idiosyncrasies, off-the-cuff observations and, crucially, our true feelings. For example, I might tell my friend about my husband’s big promotion, but not my anxiety around it (“I’m scared he’ll have less time for me”).
In short, in our haste to cram as much top-level information in as we can, some of what makes us human – and, in turn, what leads to a real sense of connection – falls to the wayside. We talk through the headlines but don’t really get into the small print. I’d wager I’m not alone.
I recently ran a poll on my Instagram, asking how many of my 2,000 followers felt they had fallen into the “catch-up trap” with friends. Over 70 per cent of those who replied responded affirmatively. Among them, I noticed the names of several close pals.
So, fuelled by a desire to feel more .