Here we are. Hometowns. The hometowns are one of the most reliably boring episodes of any Bachelor iteration, except for the time we met Dean’s dad on Rachel’s season.

But we don’t have Dean’s dad here; we have Chock’s dad, and Chock’s dad reminds me of Jimmy Stewart voicing the old dog sheriff in Fievel Goes West . I absolutely wish they would get rid of hometowns. You can secretly fly the lead out to meet families.

That’s fine. I don’t want to see it. I want to see the contestants doing friendship activities together.

Imagine the shot in the arm this episode would get if Gary and Charles returned to do more shopping. The show could also make the leads ask the participants genuinely probing questions about their lives and beliefs, but The Bachelor will never give that to us. Everyone will be presented as neutral, making them palatable to all and beloved by none.

Except, again, for Charles. I’m dodging the issue here, which is recapping an episode where we learn nothing and end up exactly where we were last week, only down a person who never seemed to really spark with Joan anyway. I was so much more invested in Gerry’s season, which feels terrible because Gerry has turned out to be pretty sus ! But there’s a reason more people tend to watch The Bachelor than The Bachelorette .

It’s because women are allowed to be more emotionally vulnerable, and that makes for more interesting television than these stilted men who seem to hope they are conveying all t.