D o I want a mirror that tells me I’m not fit enough? Do I want it to then conjure up a little mirror genie to get me squat-thrusting my way back to health? Turns out — actually I do. If it gets me moving again, then the Suunto Vertical watch will keep me on course when I do that outside, helping to show my position on walking maps even without reception. And in case I decide to do a spot of birdwatching while I’m there, the Swarovski binoculars will let me know what I’m looking at.

This article contains affiliate links that can earn us revenue NatureSpy camera trap When we sleep, the garden awakes. And strange things happen. Gloves get moved and gnashed.

Bulbs get scattered. So do pigeon feathers, minus the pigeon owners. Rubbish appears.

There was a loaf of bread one night, a tub of butter the next. Once we found a fish the length of my arm, rotting away a kilometre from the nearest body of water — like a clue in an Agatha Christie..