Few things are more upsetting than trying to communicate with a partner who shuts down during an argument. No matter what you say or do, it feels like you can’t reach them. They’ve completely checked out—leaving you feeling helpless and rejected in return.
This type of withdrawal is called “stonewalling,” and not only is it incredibly painful to experience, but it can also be detrimental to a relationship’s success . So detrimental, in fact, that experts say it may be a sign that a relationship won’t last. “Persistent stonewalling gradually erodes trust and safety in a relationship,” explains psychotherapist Kathryn Kupillas .
“After all, the ability to move through conflict effectively is an essential skill for any relationship to grow and thrive.” But what exactly is stonewalling in a relationship, and what causes a person to do it? Is it possible for this behavior to change? And, most importantly, what can be done to fix it? Read on to find out. What is stonewalling in a relationship? Simply put, stonewalling is when one partner in a relationship ices the other person out.
“Someone might roll their eyes, give the silent treatment, or walk away when their partner is trying to talk to them,” explains Amy Morin , psychotherapist and author of the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do . “They might say, ‘We’re not talking about this,’ or dismiss their partner’s attempts to bring up a subject altogether.” Stonewalling can also mani.