A tragedy has happened to one of my child’s friend’s family. I am heartbroken for them and everyone who knows them well. My issue is that I don’t know what to do or say.
This happens to me whenever something terrible happens. It’s my own issue, I know, but I also know it doesn’t come across well. The last time I froze, the people who were already going through trauma were so hurt by my lack of involvement they’ve dumped me as a friend.
I couldn’t even explain my inaction. What do I do? First, talk to a friend or family member who knows this about you. Ask them to reach out to the family on your behalf, sending your condolences and love.
can explain your situation, but it may not register. Second, you need to see a therapist to help you figure out what causes your freeze, get to the root of it, so you can understand what happens to you and why. Once you work through that, you’ll be able to work on a different reaction other than freezing.
My guess is that you’ve had a trauma that you’ve repressed, and may not even remember, or remember very differently as a self-protective measure. I am really hurt by one of my friend groups. I’m an artist and paint in a studio with other artists.
Twice a year we hold an evening event, with drinks and snacks and invite our family and friends. My painting is very homo-erotic and not to everyone’s taste. I get that.
But I’m saddened my friends can’t come to support me. They don’t even have to look at the art if they.