A friend of our Circling community chose to be Euthanized last week at age 33. This is shocking for many particularly as his issues were in the area of mental health. Our community has come together in such a rich way to process grief, confusion, even anger.
His funeral is tomorrow in his home country of Holland. I just came from one of many groups geared toward being with his passing both before and after he left. One thing it definitely does for me, makes me even more thirsty to live.
I am about to go to Malibu to boogie board, one of my favorite experiences. One person asked me is it not too cold. Yes it can get very cold.
Another. Alone? Yes, alone. Another, isn’t it dangerous? No, not for me.
Yet here is what happened in this body; a wave of rage passed through the body hearing that and again yesterday in a group. Let’s live people I want to scream! Let’s live and dance with death if necessary rather than living quiet lives of desperation trying with all our might to avoid any hint of danger. For me that is not living.
His funeral reminds me of the last funeral I was at many years ago. The funeral was in Austria, a man who had died in a motorcycle accident at age 44. We walked from the church uphill to the cemetery in a long procession.
It was maybe two miles and rather steep yet we were together. It is the only funeral I have been to where we actually threw dirt on the coffin. I can feel the earth in my hand remembering this.
My young daughter was with us and I wo.