In the ancient reality known as Pax Romana, the power would send an envoy bearing an olive branch as a gesture of peace, a sign that war is no longer wanted. In the modern reality known as “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” an olive branch – a literal olive branch – was sent this week by Alexis Bellino to Shannon Storms Beador, who rejected that symbol of peace. Of course, this all happens with all the housewives, except Alexis, gathered round a table for formal tea.
It’s Shannon’s 60th birthday and she’s feeling all right at last. As Virgil recapped the Trojan War – which coincidentally had an episode where Aeneas delivered an olive branch to Evander – let us briefly recap the War between Shannon and Alexis, in which Shannon’s ex-boyfriend John Janssen is now Alexis’s boyfriend Johnny J. Which, if we’re not mistaken in this retelling, would make John the Helen of Troy of this season.
Anyhoo, Shannon is smiling again, and able to laugh about being single at 60. “I’m 60 and alone,” she says as she waits for the others to arrive at the teahouse. “I’m a spinster!” Heather Dubrow and Tamra Judge briefly threaten to hijack the soiree with their own drama – Heather by demanding that Emily Simpson talk about their recent fashion show issues, Tamra by apologizing to Jenn Pedranti for the previous week’s temper tantrum thrown at Jenn’s boyfriend Ryan Boyajian.
But those storm clouds pass swiftly, and after all the others are seated, Shann.