I’ve had a few million-dollar ideas in my life. None of them have earned me a million dollars. They haven’t earned me a single dollar.
Who knows why? It’s not because they’re bad ideas. That’s impossible. Most likely they are just ideas that were ahead of their time.
The world was never ready for my genius. One of my million-dollar ideas became a real thing. I got no credit for it.
When I was young and had a bad cold, the constant blowing and wiping had rubbed my nose raw. I tried to help myself by smearing moisturizing lotion on my shnozz. I said out loud, “Hey! What if the tissues just came with lotion infused in them to protect our noses?” No one listened at the time but then tissues with lotion became a thing.
My next million-dollar idea is so obvious I am stunned I have not seen it in the real world. Fish ’n Chips chips. That’s it.
I think there should be a potato chip flavour called Fish ‘n Chips. Whenever I mention this (and I only ever think of it when I’m eating chips) the first reaction is, “EW.” Again, the world doesn’t understand.
Fish ‘n Chips chips don’t exactly taste like fish. They capture the essence of fish ‘n chips which is a delicious blend of crispy batter and fries, salt, ketchup and malt vinegar. And maybe just the subtlest notes of haddock and tartar.
Say “EW” all you want. Someone is going to develop these things, and I’ll say, “I told you so” and also, “Aww. Why didn’t I patent Fish ‘n Chips chips?”.