From an outsider’s perspective, dealing with a cheating partner might seem obvious: cut your losses and run. But Talal Alsaleem , who has helped hundreds of couples work through their infidelity in his 17 years as a clinical psychologist and licensed marriage and family counselor, says couples should do the opposite. First, they should turn toward each other.
That doesn’t necessarily mean forgiving the wrongdoing, he says – it just means facing the problem head-on. Healing can look a lot of different ways, he says. “Sometimes infidelity is the clear signal that this relationship shouldn't have [existed] in the first place,” says Alsaleem.
But in other cases, it can present “a golden opportunity” for couples to address underlying issues and work together toward a stronger relationship. Alsaleem, founder of The Infidelity Counseling Center in Roseville, Calif., shares common misconceptions about romantic affairs -- and how to cope.
Myth 1: Cheating means having sex with someone else Crossing the line means different things to different couples, says Alsaleem. In some relationships, flirting is considered cheating. In others, it’s no big deal.
So explicitly define the boundaries of your relationship as early as possible. Couples assume they’re on the same page about emotional or sexual exclusivity only to realize they’re not when it’s too late, he says. Get specific with each other.
How do you feel about sexting? Porn? How close is too close to a friend or .