My 15-year-old daughter was at a friend’s cottage for two weeks helping the neighbours with their small children. The friend’s parents were at the cottage, so the girls were supervised, not alone. They had breakfast at “home,” spent the day babysitting and ate lunch with those kids, and sometimes stayed into the evening while those parents went out.
My daughter was having the best time, and I was happy for her to be out of the hot city and by a lake, having fun and learning responsibility. She called me yesterday crying because the friend’s parents told her she had to leave. Not because she did anything wrong, but her friend was caught smoking, and her parents had said that if they felt, for whatever reason, that this situation wasn’t working, my daughter would have to leave.
I’m devastated for my daughter because she is being punished for something she didn’t do. What do I tell her? Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart, or the meek. Just as in tennis, when it comes to parenting, it’s important to follow through.
So, for example, if you say to your child/children, “If you ...
, then I ...
” you need to follow through, therefore, if they do whatever was in your statement, you better do what you said you would do. Not because it’s important to punish — that’s NOT what I’m saying. It’s important to follow through.
That could be “if you get an A on your test, I’ll buy you an ice cream,” just as easily as “If you’re not home by 11 p.m., .