While Love Island USA ’s Kaylor Martin is famous for her many tear-filled moments on Season Six of the unscripted dating series, the reality star stood firm when confronting her fellow Islander and now-ex, Aaron Evans, at the show’s reunion on Monday night. Over the summer, the world watched Martin fall in love with Evans inside the villa in Fiji, but it was a rocky road for the couple after Evans lied to Martin about the details of his relationship with Daniela Ortiz-Rivera. Martin’s crying face became the subject of many memes, as did her infamous phrase, “Fawk, Aaron” (a saying so widespread she even trademarked it).

The 22-year-old also caught a lot of heat from fans for taking Evans back so quickly in the villa following his transgressions. It wasn’t until she left Fiji and watched the episodes back with her friends and family that Martin realized the extent of Evans’ betrayal and her lack of desire to continue their relationship any further. “I’ve shed enough tears and I can’t waste my energy on negativity.

I deserve someone who is on the same wavelength as me and watching myself on TV being so vulnerable and having such a big heart was a wake up call. It made me realize, damn, I don’t deserve this,” Martin tells Rolling Stone . “Honestly, I don’t really know how to feel.

I’m very hurt and I would be lying to sit here and say that I don’t love Aaron and care for him. After being wronged, I still think he is an amazing person. I just think.