Article content On narrow roads that are made up of sudden twists and blind hills, country drivers will flash their headlights — blink, blink, blink — to alert oncoming traffic to obstacles. They are letting their others know there is a family of turkeys crossing the street or a truck stopped on a thin shoulder ahead. It’s a red flag warning.
The oncoming driver then chooses to do with that warning, such as slowing down or putting on their hazard lights. It’s like this with our teenagers when they start dating. As parents and caregivers, we have the luxury of decades of experience to suss out unhealthy traits in others.
When we see our kids with someone we feel isn’t a good match, we start waving flags to call their attention to it. We want it to end right away. But hold on a minute.
Close your eyes and count to 10. Forbidding a relationship might backfire on you. Helping children to recognize red flags begins when we teach them empathy, sharing, and that name-calling and hair-pulling are not OK.
We show them how to stand up for themselves and remove themselves from a situation before it escalates. When they start dating, the stakes become even higher. Controlling, manipulative.
A person might make all the decisions for the couple, then belittle, make fun of or use guilt so their choices seem like the only option. It can look like always deciding where on campus to eat lunch, what movie to see or how physically intimate they become. Not letting them speak.
Everyone .