Why pamper life’s complexities when you can read a scathing Johnny Marr rebuttal instead? The guitarist has issued a missive against his former Smiths bandmate Morrissey days after the latter claimed Marr successfully applied for full trademark rights and intellectual property ownership of the Smiths’ name — which meant he could, if interested, tour under the band’s name with a new vocalist. “To prevent third parties from profiting from the band’s name, it was left to me to protect the legacy,” Marr said in a statement provided to Vulture. “This I have done on behalf of both myself and my former bandmates.

” In response to Morrissey’s allegation that Marr never acknowledged a recent lucrative offer to reunite the Smiths for a world tour in 2025, Marr added, “As for the offer to tour, I didn’t ignore the offer. I said no.” (Translation: There’s not enough money in the world to entice him.

) Marr also has “no such plans” to tour as the Smiths with a different singer. The remainder of the statement, from his management team, reads: Here are the facts. In 2018, following an attempt by a third party to use the Smiths’s name — and upon the discovery that the trademark wasn’t owned by the band — Marr reached out to Morrissey, via his representatives, to work together in protecting the Smiths’s name.

A failure to respond led Marr to register the trademark himself. It was subsequently agreed with Morrissey’s lawyers that this trademark was hel.