Jennifer Lopez is feeling a variety of emotions on her 55th birthday. The singer posted a message to her fans via Instagram on Wednesday as she hit the milestone age. Days earlier, Lopez threw herself a “Bridgerton”-themed birthday party.

Her husband, Ben Affleck, skipped the party amid rumors they’re getting divorced . Lopez’s post featured two pictures of her wearing blue pajamas and a “Happy Birthday” headband. She smiled looking at her cake and numerous bouquets of flowers with a big “Happy Birthday” banner behind her.

“I’ve been seeing all of your birthday wishes, beautiful videos, and posts all last night and this morning from all over the world,” she began her caption. “I have laughed, smiled, shed some tears. I really do have the best, most amazing fans in the world.

I could never express how moved I am or how incredibly blessed I feel to have all of you be a part of my life.” She continued: “It’s hard to believe we have spent all this time together. It’s funny as I sit here contemplating on the most extraordinary journey I still feel like the same girl starting out so full of energy and bravado, so ready to take on the whole world on the outside and yet so tender, fragile and sometimes frightened but always full of love on the inside.

” The “Hustlers” actress told her fans that they’re her “biggest gift” on her birthday besides her friends and family, which includes her 16-year-old twins whom she shares with her ex-husband, .