Red Bull? Quaffed. Goal? Scored. Cristian Romero? “F—k off”.
This wasn’t so much vintage Jamie Vardy as pure Vardy, 70 per cent proof Skittles Vardy, back for the “Chat shit? Get banged” farewell tour. He’s not just raging against the dying of the light, he’s absolutely fuming. Move aside the Premier League’s itinerant irritant Neal Maupay, the king of English footballing comedy would like his crown back.
Even at 37, or perhaps especially at 37, Vardy remains a bona fide box office package, the now-veteran troublemaker who never had any intention of growing up, the greatest example of football’s meritocratic power who continues to reject its sharpest professional edges. Maupay has been a worthy interregnum replacement while Vardy was touring Deepdale and the Liberty Stadium, but not being able to back up his Twitter digs and celebration thievery with consistent excellence somewhat removes their meaning and substance. Read Next Inside Leicester’s nightmare Premier League preparations Meanwhile against Tottenham on Monday, Vardy returned from a month-long injury absence to score his 103rd Premier League goal since turning 30, comfortably the most ever.
He’s also managed the third-most top-flight goals since his first appearance in 2014 (137), behind only Harry Kane (200) and Mo Salah (155). The man who used to make prosthetic splints has no great need to be such a menace – this is all about a love of the game. Vardy told Steve Cooper it “wasn’t sit.