Plenty unites the Guardian’s sports reporters and cultural critics. Both make a living observing the apex of physicality. They have to make sense of what they’ve seen at lightning speed to meet deadlines.
So why not swap gigs for the day? The sports team were delighted to be working in warm venues; the critics unabashed about their disregard for the rules of the game. But more importantly, genuinely striking insights ensued, whether about Elton John’s appearance at Dua Lipa’s gig being the equivalent of Aston Villa making a Hail Mary sub of Jhon Durán, or the rugby ball being like a black hole sucking the players into its orbit. Perhaps we need to open transfer season between desks more often.
Reporting on sport and live music should be pretty similar, right? Noisy crowds, eye-catching talent, a diversion from the heavy-lifting of serious news. Hmm. This is the first time I’ve turned up for work to find an angry-looking fire blazing at the venue and staff already scraping projectile vomit off the carpet in the foyer.
You don’t get this at Exeter v Sale. Rock’n’roll, baby! I fish out my notebook and briefly pretend to be a proper journalist. Luckily, the fire – caused by a lifting truck bursting into flames – is swiftly extinguished and the show can go on.
Someone has poured heaps of absorbent spill powder on the diced carrot, which is helpful. Nothing like a sticky floor to remind you of dodgy student gigs back in the day. This may also be the time to st.