CONTENT WARNING: This story contains mentions of suicide, postpartum depression, and infant loss, and may be triggering or activating for some. In the midst of World Breastfeeding Week, some heartbreaking headlines have emerged here in Singapore: “ Woman found dead with baby told loved ones about stress over pumping milk, son’s jaundice, ” says one article . News of the tragic discovery of this 33-year-old Singaporean mother and her newborn in December 2023 sent shockwaves through the local maternal collective.
She conceived her son after a miscarriage and confided to her husband and younger sister about her “dark thoughts” and overwhelming stress over childcare and her ability to pump enough breast milk, according to reports. Despite having plans to transition from pumped breast milk to feeding her baby formula milk, the mother expressed guilt and felt that she was lazy. For better or worse, many mothers internalise the message of ‘ breastfed being best’, but at what cost to themselves? And with what resources? While well-meaning, the message is often force-fed to mothers with little nuance, tangible support or room for flexibility.
Opinions from sciolists on feeding and all that lactation entails (breastfeeding, pumping, or formula) come thick, fast, and often unsolicited, leaving mothers having to reconcile polarising societal expectations with their individual lived experiences. At this vulnerable time, it’s mothers who bear the burden not only of finding .