I'm at war with my neighbour: I hate their outdoor kitchen and the billowing smoke from their BBQ makes sunny days a living nightmare. This is the annoying thing I'm doing to fight back...

I'm at war with my neighbour: I hate their outdoor kitchen and the billowing smoke from their BBQ makes sunny days a living nightmare. This is the annoying thing I'm doing to fight back..

. By Anonymous Published: 12:00 EDT, 21 July 2024 | Updated: 12:00 EDT, 21 July 2024 e-mail View comments Am I the only person in the entire country to wish it would start raining again? Alas, last week's sunshine found me hermetically sealed inside my home, cursing the day three years ago my neighbours lost their civic mindedness and bought a lavish outdoor kitchen. And when I say lavish, I really mean it.

Garden wine fridge, rotisserie grill, pizza oven, prepping bench, sink, and of course BBQ so big you could do woolly mammoth skewers on it. I'd find the whole thing highly impressive..

.were it not installed mere inches from our shared fence. Yet there it is – billowing clouds of smoke over to our side night-after-night as though the entire patio is on fire.

I don't want to sound flippant. Because the truth is that I'm bloody livid. It's all the fault of a few recent heatwaves and global warming , which apparently convinced my once favourite neighbours that our quiet corner in the Weald of Kent can now pass for the warmer climes of the Mediterranean.

I'm also looking at you, David Beckham , for turning my neighbours' heads. He is, after all, the poster boy for the all-singing, all-dancing luxury outdoor kitchen, with his barn-sized high-end installation. The outdoor kitchen is far more ma.