'I was honest to my mate about her boyfriend and now she says I'm a bad friend'

Dear Coleen I’m a 22-year-old woman and recently my friend texted me saying I hadn’t been as good a friend to her as I used to be. It was a long message and it felt unfair. We sat down together and talked it out, but it felt like she was picking on me for every little thing.

For example, not seeing her as much, prioritising other friends and not answering the phone every time she calls (she phones me every day). I’ve tried hard to be a good friend. There was one occasion where I could have done better, but it wasn’t obvious that she was in a bad situation.

I feel she’s judging me for this one time when every other time I’ve been there – and it’s upsetting she’s questioning my friendship. I believe friends should accept you, flaws and all, which is what I’ve always done with her. I admit my texting could use some work and I don’t always get back to people straight away.

But, over the years, there have been many times when she hasn’t been there for me and I’ve let it go. This all seems to have happened since I got back with my boyfriend. I’ve also started a new job with different hours and have uni , too, but I’ve still made an effort with her and had little response.

I was honest with her back in August about her relationship, telling her I thought her boyfriend should treat her better and she didn’t like that – yet it’s OK for her to have an opinion on my relationship. I’m hurt and confused. I can’t always be on call 24/7 for her but, b.