Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz , i ’s agony uncle, advises a man who is worried about a new habit of looking at women I’m a father of daughters aged nine and seven – and brother of sisters. I respect women. So why am I turning into the type of man I deplore? I can’t help looking at women behind my sunglasses, often 10 or 20 years younger than me.
My wife and I are in our mid-forties, we met at university and have been together over half our lives – she would be so disappointed if she realised, especially because we’ve been having less sex recently (not deliberately, it has been a gradual decline over the past three years). Please help, I don’t want to be a creep. Anonymous * Let’s be clear here.
There is a huge difference between noticing beauty and being a creep. Humans are programmed to be drawn to beauty: even very young babies prefer looking at attractive faces, for example. Maybe the laws of nature and “the golden ratio” come into it, where a particular arrangement and proportion of facial features are more attractive to the human eye.
Your wife probably notices when an extremely attractive woman or man walks past, too. But, as you’ve already alluded to, anything that makes others feel discomfort – whether that’s the woman you’re looking at, the woman you’re with, or both – isn’t respectful. Page Three was stopped for a reason; #Me Too happened for a reason.
If you’re ogling, lusting and fantasising, you’re probably in creepy territory. I.