When a friend gets into a relationship with someone new, you want to be happy for them – but what if you don’t like the person? Or think they’re completely wrong for your mate? First of all, you’re not alone. It’s actually quite common to dislike a friend’s partner, says BACP-registered counsellor and psychotherapist Alison Goolnik . “Whether you say something to your friend depends on several factors; understanding why you dislike this person, how this affects you, and the potential impact your words can have on your friendship.
” Figure out your own feelings first It’s important to first work out what you’re actually feeling – and whether it really is ‘dislike’ for the new partner. “You may find yourself feeling jealous of your friend’s partner and insecure about your friendship because you fear this new relationship could destroy it. Or you may feel protective of your friend and become concerned for their wellbeing or safety due to how their new partner treats them,” Goolnik says.
“Perhaps you just dislike the partner because you find them annoying and irritating, and you are disappointed that your friend chose this partner and resent having to spend time with them. Be honest with yourself. What are these feelings about? Knowing the source can help you decide what to do next.
” When trying to understand your dislike for your friend’s partner, she suggests you ask yourself, ‘What is the reason why you want to say something to your frien.