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As a child, my grandmother used to give my sister and me a quarter when she came to visit. Once, she forgot, so I pointed it out. My mother was so mortified she sent me to my room.

That rebuke unconsciously taught me I shouldn't ask for money, and it held me back for years. I don't have many memories of my maternal grandmother, as she died when I was 4 years old. One incident stuck in my mind very clearly, however, and surprisingly, only decades later did I realize that it had shaped the way I'd been managing my finances all my life.

Every time my grandmother dropped by for a visit, she'd give my sister and me a quarter, which we happily added to our piggy bank. One day, she forgot to do so, and when I pointed this out to her, she immediately dug into her purse to rectify the matter. My mother, utterly mortified, sent me to my room with the stern admonishment that asking for money was not polite.

At the time, I didn't see what the big deal was. Why couldn't I ask for money? After all, I asked for plenty of other stuff all the time, like extra dessert helpings and bedtime stories. What was so wrong about asking for money? My mom never did explain, and although well-in.