NOW, I’ve never really paid much heed to my chin, eyebrows or, indeed, forehead. As far as I was blissfully concerned, I was no Bruce Forsyth (RIP), no Denis Healey (ditto for the Seventies Chancellor) and no Ant McPartlin so life was fine. And then a leading plastic surgeon “digitally mapped” my face, in the process comparing it to the top ten most beautiful women of the world — and my hitherto halcyon facial dreams were shattered.
In Golden Ratio terms — the maths formula used to assess beauty — I score a measly 78 per cent for my eyebrows, 80 per cent for my forehead and 83 per cent for my chin. Queen’s Gambit star Anya Taylor-Joy averaged over 94 per cent, for reference. So, for my nose at least, I am 16 per cent less palatable than Anya Taylor-Joy .
Still, nothing a mini-facelift can’t change. Elsewhere, though, I was ecstatic to find out I did pretty well — averaging a total of 86.26 per cent.
Sure, I may not be 2024’s answer to Nefertiti, but according to leading facial plastic surgeon Dr Julian De Silva (who may well be sorting my chin, brows and forehead out with his little scalpel soon) I’m no munter. Officially. My Golden Ratio score is about just one per cent off that of the Princess of Wales (the living one) and Kate Moss.
Ah, but which Kate? Waify, Vogue cover star and supermodel circa 2004, or as she looks today? “The latter,” I’m told. Oh. Still, Dr Julian’s remarks on my (flattering) byline photograph are heartening.
“Clemmie h.