Note: Names have been changed for privacy. I met him on Bumble. I was busy with motherhood and work and wasn’t really looking for a serious relationship.
His profile drew me in. His dreadlocks hinted at a Bohemian energy that I imagined could tame my hyperactive brain. In every picture, he smiled like he loved life more than anyone I had ever known.
There was also an air of mystery to his profile: a picture of a colorful elephant puzzle, missing one piece. I knew there had to be a reason for that missing puzzle piece and I needed to know what it was. I couldn’t wait to find out more about Xavier.
And find out more I did. Xavier, as it turns out, purposely leaves one piece out of every puzzle as a reminder that there is always more work to be done. He draws paintings on his apartment walls, runs 50ks, and takes architecture classes for fun.
He can recite “Catullus 5” in Latin by memory and will drive to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania just to be in the city where his favorite football team competes. He is intense and intentional with everything he does, yet he also has a lackadaisical and go-with-the-flow energy. He is fulfilled by guiding others.
He has a weird appreciation for those who say yes instead of yea, and he loves his hairless, high-maintenance cat Maximus like it’s his son. Somewhere along the way, I also found out that he was non-monogamous. By that time I was madly in love with him, and yet I was, and am, without a doubt, a monogamous woman by nature and cho.