Like a lot of people, I have a complicated relationship with social media. On one hand, I love that it allows me to stay in touch with old friends, forge new connections, and learn more about practically any and every topic I could ever be curious about. But if I’m not careful and intentional about when and how I spend my time on social media, I wind up scrolling for hours , incessantly comparing myself to other people and their lives, careers and accomplishments.
It makes me question where I’m at in life, and, even though I’m very aware that measuring myself by my feed is a net-negative exercise, I still do it. Social comparison has existed for as long as humans have. It gives us a way to gauge how we’re doing relative to other people and make sense of our own (and others’) abilities, social standing and performance.
In that sense, comparing ourselves to our fellow humans can be beneficial, to a degree, and may help us navigate the world more smoothly, says Ethan Kross, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan and author of Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It . Someone else’s loving relationship may inspire you to seek out your own, or maybe your entrepreneur friend has motivated you to pursue your passion. However, social media has taken this very human, primitive thing and intensified it.
People tend to post about their successes rather than their failures, and it can seem like everyone is killing it at work.