The anatomy lesson THE mother of reader Katie Carmichael has a habit of mixing up the names of family members. Katie’s brother recently asked his mum if Katie’s partner was getting out and about, knowing that he'd recently had a full knee replacement. "Not yet", said mum.
"He can't venture out until after an operation next week." “Oh dear,” replied Katie’s brother, somewhat bewildered. Was this even more work being done on the knee joint? "No", said mum.
"He's having his testicles removed." After further probing, he realised that she'd confused her son-in-law, Bill, with the cat, Pablo. Sporting chap FORMER MP and MSP, Dennis Canavan, recalls his old school pal, the legendary Celt, Tommy Callaghan, who sadly passed away recently.
Dennis played in the same school team as Tommy and his big brother, Willie, who also became a professional footballer, playing for Dunfermline Athletic and Scotland . At school, Willie played centre forward and Tommy was on the left wing. During one close match, Willie shot for goal.
The goalie was nowhere to be seen and the ball appeared to be on target. Tommy was following the ball closely and could have easily tapped it into the net. The ball then suddenly hit a wee bump on the ground and went past the post for a by-kick.
The teacher in charge of the team raged at Tommy: “What are you playing at, Callaghan? You missed an open goal! Why did you not just stick out a foot and put the ball in the net?” Replied the gracious Tommy: “Sorr.