Picture this SHAKESPEARE is in the news this week, which is pretty impressive, considering he’s been dead for a few hundred years. A window cleaner named Steven Wadlow claims to have discovered the earliest portrait of the Bard, which was painted in Shakespeare’s lifetime. If Wadlow is right, it could be worth £200 million.
If he’s wrong, he can always use it as a rag for cleaning windows. So a win-win situation, really. The Diary is suspicious of Wadlow’s claims, for the truth is that we are in possession of the only genuine portrait of Shakespeare painted in his lifetime.
What makes it even more valuable is it’s also an original Banksy. Will we ever sell this invaluable work of art? Not likely, for the spray-painted image, which can be gazed upon in all its glory in one of the lavatory cubicles in Diary Towers, inspires our own talented writers to even greater feats of genius, such as the following classic tales from our archives..
. Dream on A LENZIE woman woke up and enthusiastically told her husband: “I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace as a surprise gift.” Coyly she added: “What do you think it means?” “Well, you’ll know tonight,” he replied.
True enough, that evening he arrived home with a small package which he presented to her. Delighted, she tore it open..
. to find a book titled The Meaning of Dreams. Mum’s the word A LADY in a West End bar said to her friends: “Do you know the only thing that divorce proves?” After a beat, she con.