Boxing clever STUART Murdoch, the front man of popular Glasgow pop band, Belle and Sebastian, is in a philosophical frame of mind, brought on by contemplating the large plastic containers he owns. “Just had a thought,” admits Stuart. “Those funny boxes I’ve had for 20 years with stuff in, they’re pretty certainly going to last longer than me.

“You think they’re doing you a favour, holding all your stuff, but they’re just biding their time, counting the days until they outlive you.” (The Diary is still waiting for a comment in response from the "funny boxes", so we’re not entirely sure this is their nefarious plan. We’ll keep you posted on any developments.

..) Shifty coffee schlurping THE other day reader Matthew Lodge was working on his laptop in a café, and overheard a woman at a nearby table hissing at the chap she was with.

(They were both also typing on laptops.) Said the woman: “I don’t trust people who sit in coffee shops on their own, and don’t have a laptop. I mean, what do they come for?” The chap gave this some serious consideration, then said: “Maybe to drink coffee?” The woman rewarded his observation with a derisive snort.

“Yeah, right,” she said. “As if!” Says Matthew: “Lucky I had my laptop, or she’d have marched me right out the place.” What’s up, Doc? ON a bus, reader Stephen Greig overheard a medical discussion between two women.

“You should drink cranberry juice,” said one lady. “It’s very good for.