: I am 19, and I have a close friend and roommate who seeks constant validation and reassurance from me. Related Articles Whether it’s about her clothing choices, personal decisions or even her appearance, she frequently asks for my opinions and needs constant affirmation. I am aware that this is stemming from insecurity, particularly regarding her skin issues like cystic acne.
I genuinely care for her, and I have tried to provide encouragement and positive feedback all the time. However, the frequency of these requests for validation is beginning to feel draining. I am worried that addressing this issue might hurt her feelings, but I also need to set some boundaries because I am starting to feel exhausted and irritated around her, and I do not want to be that type of friend.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. : Sit down with your roommate and lovingly talk to her. Tell her that you realize you need to establish some ground rules for living together so that you both can be at ease.
Explain that sometimes you need quiet time when you can be left alone to do nothing — not talk, just go about your business. Explain that as much as you care about her, you also do not have the capacity to validate her every thought or decision. Tell her it’s too much for you to handle.
She may need examples to understand what you mean. You may have to stop her when she asks multiple times for your opinion. Tell her she gets five minutes for your personal critique.
After that, she’s o.