: I’m a 54-year-old woman with a 61-year-old twice-divorced man who seems to be stuck in the past with how his wives treated him. Related Articles My partner is untrusting and tries to control the things I do and the places I want to go. Since we decided to make this a relationship, he’s either at my place or wants me at his.
In the three months that we’ve been together, I have not spent a night alone, but I want to. He gets disappointed when I tell him that I want time alone, and he comes to my place anyway. I’ve talked to him about this, so he knows how I feel.
Although we’ve only been dating for three months, I’ve known him for more than 25 years. I’ve always wanted to be with him, but it never happened until now. I’ve never been married, and he wants to marry me, but I’m afraid that if I do, the controlling behavior will only get worse.
I believe he’s a good guy other than what I mentioned above, and I want to give it more time, but my mind is telling me to retreat. : It is common for people to have baggage as they mature and live their lives. Your guy has some relationship scars that are real and need to be addressed independent of you.
Tell him that you have always been attracted to him and are happy that the two of you get to be together now, but it is obvious that he has some personal work to do in order to be emotionally healthy and available. Suggest that he go to therapy. He needs to tackle his issues — especially the ones that have nothing to.