Gay penguin already on Grindr 22nd August 2024 MAGIC the gay penguin, who lost his partner Sphen earlier this week, is coping with the pain of his loss by putting himself out there on Grindr. The gentoo penguin, who has shared his desirable Sydney property with his same-sex lover since 2018, has described himself on the dating app as ‘heartbroken but horny’. He said: “We all have our own ways of dealing with bereavement.
It’s not for others to judge. Meaningless erotic encounters with other semi-aquatic seabirds is mine. “They can’t replace Sphen, nobody can, but they provide a distraction from my suffering.
It’s very much like the George Michael song Fastlove , if you’re familiar with that. “I’ve tried hitting the gay bars, but the scene here is very white cis human-centric. If I was in the Falklands I could be scoring rump-tail out in the colony.
Here I’ve had to hit up the old iPhone. “We all sang for Sphen and that was beautiful but it can’t bring him back. If I choose to lose myself in a whirl of orange beaks and oily feathers, that’s my trauma response.
Besides we weren’t having sex much by the end.” He added: “Who’s this, an Adélie penguin? Nah, I ain’t into none of that short fat action.” Britain has been naughty, and I've got the austerity strap-on.
By Rachel Reeves 22nd August 2024 YOU love a bit of austerity, don’t you? That’s what you voted for and now you’re going to get it – good and hard. No lube. Pointless spen.