Dear Carol: My dad’s been experiencing memory lapses and making sketchy decisions. I finally got him into a neurologist who diagnosed him with dementia, most likely mixed Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. He’s 84 and in good general health, so he insists he’s fine.
Dad said the doctor didn’t know what he was doing so I took him to a memory specialist who confirmed the diagnosis. Dad now says they are “in cahoots.” I’m told that this denial isn’t unusual, but it’s making it difficult to get his legal paperwork done and plan for the future.
Well, that, and just trying to manage his life. What can a daughter do? – CV Dear CV: Your frustration is normal. It’s hard when we know what needs to be done and we’re met with complete denial of the facts.
I’m sorry you’re facing this battle. Some people are aware that their memory is declining and that it’s become harder to make sense of the world. What freezes them in denial is the understandable fear of what these changes mean for their future.
Ageism, as well as the common stigma that surrounds dementia, can both contribute. For others, denial stems from anosognosia , which is a condition that causes someone to be unaware of a mental health issue, or in the case of dementia, their thinking and memory challenges. This is different from denial, in that the person in denial knows they have problems but refuses to admit it, even to themselves.
With anosognosia, the brain damage caused by the person’s dise.