I’m one of those people who start to feel emotional the moment the wheels of a plane leave the tarmac. There’s some science behind this phenomenon – low oxygen levels and air pressure inside the ears – which explains why you’re more likely to feel weepy while soaring through the atmosphere drinking orange juice from little cups. When I’ve been in a relationship, that aeroplane sadness has often been connected to feelings of missing my partner and other embarrassing sentiments.
While this is sappy, it’s also been a compelling anecdotal truth about the proverb “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, because missing someone to such an extent that you’re crying during the flight attendant’s safety demonstration is surely proof. As many long-distance couples would agree, always being together isn’t necessarily a marker of a strong relationship. Credit: iStock But the more I think about the phrase, the more I wonder, is it just about the sensation of missing someone? Or is there actually a tangible benefit to spending time apart from the person you love? Quality over quantity “While there may be a foundation for the idea that absence can make the heart grow fonder, higher emotional closeness in relationships is often reported in couples that spend ‘quality’ time together,” says Dr Raquel Peel, a senior lecturer in psychology at RMIT.
“This is to say that it is not so much about quantity of time together – physically or remotely – rather it is ab.