It lives on in the back of some people’s minds, like a siren song that never stops playing. But shutting it off is even more worrying because it’s calling out for changes which are looming closer. That’s why people think first of the children.
Divorce is the unnamed fear which you’re not ready to raise. It’s just as well, because you’ve done none of the needed work to know what you’re contemplating. Trust me, it goes way beyond asking just one friend if they and their family surmounted any lasting pain and problems from a permanent legal breakup.
Having written countless relationship columns to answer readers’ questions over the years gave me a different perspective on divorce. Depending on circumstances, sometimes a marital split is the most logical response to partners who choose to move to their own beat. But the answer isn’t just to break up, nor move from a shared bedroom, and not just turn your focus on getting legal advice.
What you must seek first and foremost goes beyond relying on your immediate doubts, feelings and potential misconceptions. You must seek professional counselling from a source whom you interview more than once and come to believe you can understand and trust. Yes, counselling sessions can add up in costs, but so can legal and custody battles.
Meanwhile, if you and your partner can still communicate with each other, it’s time to ask their current viewpoint on your relationship. If the response feels hurtful to you, be open about s.