Dear Eric: My husband and I recently hosted the wedding of our daughter in our beautiful, upscale California beach town. The reception was described as "cocktails, dinner, and dancing," and children were not included. The dress was "Festive Cocktail Attire," which was communicated via a save the-date notice sent on paper via the U.
S. Postal Service and email. The notice was sent nine months before the wedding.
The dress code was also mentioned in the material that accompanied the invitation, sent two months before the wedding. It was a fabulous event, with one weird exception: My husband's older sister, a woman of 76 years, who lives in an even more upscale nearby town, arrived looking like she had just taken a walk on the beach, in white jeans, very casual sandals, and the sort of untucked shirt you might throw on to go grocery shopping. Meanwhile, her husband followed our dress code, as did her daughter.
This older sister was the topic of much speculation, as she stood out like a sore thumb. Several of our daughters' friends asked if she had done it on purpose, as did a couple of my friends. This event harkened back to my own wedding more than 35 years ago.
I had asked my husband's sister to be one of my bridesmaids. After I included her on a group trip to choose bridesmaid dresses, she phoned my husband to demand that he pay for her dress. Later, I overheard her belittling the dress to a couple of friends.
I had put this incident completely out of my mind until she showed .