Dear Dáithí, I’m writing to you about my sister. Her marriage broke down about six months ago. They’d been married for seven years and have two young kids.
Financially they’re just about hanging in there — paying the mortgage, bills and the rest. The trouble is they can’t afford for him to move out — he has no family nearby, and he doesn’t want to move too far from the kids, which I understand. So he’s been sleeping on the couch.
My sister seems resigned to this new setup — she keeps saying it’s fine, what can they do, but it just seems all wrong to me. Neither of them can get on with their lives, and it’s confusing for the kids. There’s no chance of a reconciliation either.
They’re not at each other’s throats or anything — the relationship just fizzled out over the years. They tried counselling before they made the decision but it’s clear the marriage is over. Even though my sister says it’s fine, I can see it’s taking a toll on her.
I know there’s probably not a quick fix for this, but should I encourage her to start making a long-term plan? There are a few things that make this situation common, firstly people break up and can’t afford to pay for two separate places, and then even if people have the money to be able to live apart, it is almost impossible to find another place to live. So, what you get is this very same thing where people who should be moving on with their lives can’t. Being honest, it might be a while before th.