: My mother, who is 69, recently moved close to where my wife and I live to be near us as she ages. Related Articles On the whole, this has been great for all of us. Mom is in good health and still very active.
She walks every day and takes care of her house and garden. We see her often. The problem is, she is very resistant to meeting new people or going out without us.
She says she will never find friends as good as the ones she left behind, so it’s not worth trying. We encouraged her to join the senior center, which she did, but she quit after a month, saying the people there are “too old.” I took her to church, but after the second Sunday, she announced she’s not going back.
My wife tried to get her to join a club or volunteer at our kids’ school, but Mom said she doesn’t like to be on a schedule. Several neighbors invited her over, but she always makes excuses to decline. I think they have stopped asking.
Because she’s independent, this isn’t a big deal now. But I’m worried that if she doesn’t get to know people while she’s still active, we’ll be her only source of support as she ages. You often ask if older parents are experiencing a change of personality caused by old age or dementia, and I don’t think this is the case here.
Mom’s always been shy. Now she’s shy and stubborn. What are my options? Among my first thoughts is that your mother isn’t the independent person you described, and she’s setting herself up to be completely dependen.