My husband and I retired a few years ago to a neighborhood where most of the residents are our age, and we have become friendly with the widow next door. Related Articles My husband and I help her out with any minor home issues she runs into and some light gardening. We are happy to do this.

She and I also occasionally get together for coffee. She recently called to invite us to dinner at her house with her sister (whom we have met) and her sister’s husband. Abby, I don’t want to start socializing over dinners with her.

My husband and I are introverts, and I have anxiety issues. Although I have entertained on a small scale occasionally over the years (usually just one couple), I become extremely anxious and I’m miserable until it is over. I want my retirement years to be as stress-free as possible.

We also are particular about the foods we eat. She sends food over occasionally that I end up throwing out. Her brother lives close by, keeps completely to himself and has nothing to do with any neighbors.

I’m thinking of telling her (or using the excuse) that my husband is pretty much like her brother and isn’t interested in getting together for dinners. Is this rude, or is there a more polite way of doing it? : Your neighbor may have invited you for dinner as a way to repay the many favors you and your husband have done for her. Do tell her your husband is “like her brother,” because you don’t know the reason her brother is the way he is.

A preferable solution to .