A vant: le deluge. There was a moment, about an hour into Paris 2024’s Grand Opening Spectacular, as the rain soaked through shoes, trousers, socks and eventually skin, hair and bone; as yet more boats of waving people chugged down the Seine, like watching an endless series of weirdly nationalistic office parties; as some men did some dancing in a place, for reasons that frankly seemed quite remote at that point, where a thought occurred. Maybe this wasn’t just the worst Olympic opening ceremony ever.
Maybe this wasn’t the worst outdoor event ever. Maybe this was the worst thing ever. Fast forward to 11.
25pm local time and Paris 2024 basically brought on Messi. There may have been better moments in the meandering history of opening ceremony entertainment than Céline Dion halfway up the Eiffel Tower, just below the Olympic rings, lights cascading, 56 years old but an absolute sonic force, belting out a jaw-dropping rendition of Édith Piaf’s Hymne à l’amour. But, well, none spring to mind right now.
Sport: never over ’til it’s over. Hardest game in the world, Vegas-style big ticket showmanship. But what a way to rescue the night.
And make no mistake, this needed rescuing. It needed Céline rising from the bench to overhead scissor-volley those final five minutes into the net. Because to that point, well, it certainly didn’t look like this in the catalogue.
“By starting the ceremony at 7.30pm, we are counting on the sun and its flashes of gold to illumin.