There is usually a towelling robe. Sometimes fluffy, occasionally waffled, but always presented to me, in an attempt to protect some “modesty” that no longer exists within me, and hasn’t for quite a long time. “Would you like this?” a red-faced human will ask, noting that I am not wearing any clothes.
At first, I received these gifts gratefully. The thought of walking almost naked through a TV studio or a vast events centre leaving me uncharacteristically bashful, not to mention a little cold. But now I am so thoroughly used to standing in public in my pants and bra that I always turn down the robe.
Politely, of course. After all, I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was rude. Here is a list of places I have walked around in my underwear: London’s Olympia exhibition centre (no laughing at the back); the set of Good Morning Britain, while being interviewed live on TV by Ben Shephard and Kate Garraway; a vast swathe of our capital city, having run the London Marathon in only my bra and pants, my name emblazoned across my bum and my race number pinned to my underwired sports brassiere.
And now, to add to this list: the window of John Lewis on Oxford Street, one of the busiest thoroughfares in the country, where I find myself standing as part of an inspiring ITV campaign called the Wow Project. I was offered the customary dressing gown as I de-robed in a changing room a few minutes ago. “Would you like this to walk through the store?” a young woman asked tent.