Four decades of matrimonials, and one common refrain. No matter what synonym is used, a woman’s worth in the Indian marriage market is still measured by a shade card. Parents of boys have just about relented to working girls now but mention their preferred profession.
There is also the “caste no bar” postscript. But the bride still needs to be fair-skinned and tick all the traditional boxes of beauty. Called ‘Kurupi’ (dark), Subhashini Komeshwaran from Chennai had been the butt of jokes since childhood.
Her matrimonial said she was ‘wheatish’, but her father was so worried about not getting a good match that he even bought a property in her name as an incentive. To relieve his stress, Komeshwaran said yes to the first proposal that came her way. “Thankfully, my marriage turned out well.
But I won’t let this happen to my daughter. She’s a certified keyboard player, very intelligent, and holds a good position at work. But if prospective grooms are wondering if she will be as dark and short as me, then all I can say is we are looking for a boy with high thinking.
” We are a long way away from an equal society, says Ashita Aggarwal, a marketing professor at S P Jain Institute of Management and Research, Mumbai. “The gender roles are still well defined. Parents of would-be brides want a well-settled boy with certain degrees and a good salary.
And parents of prospective grooms look for fair, slim, beautiful and well-educated girls. We have learned how to camo.