Unfortunately, I will soon be divorced after a 50-year marriage. Related Articles It was mostly very good. We raised and homeschooled and launched seven marvelous human beings! But our relationship began to break down after an empty nest and retirement.

That is what it is. I have known my brothers- and sisters-in-law for those 50 years. I have grown very close to some of the brothers-in-law, particularly.

During this excruciatingly slow demise of our marriage, I have avoided family reunions on her side. After the divorce later this year, I would like to resume attending the major family reunions and include visits to my ex-in-laws from time to time. I know that if I hint at my willingness to resume such visits, they would graciously respond and invite me.

But how do I negotiate the actual long weekend of a family reunion with possibly dozens of my direct descendants and as many in-laws, nieces and nephews and their children and, of course, my ex-wife? I will be warmly welcomed by all of my ex-in-laws, but my ex-wife and I have descended into almost no interchange, and what little remains is cold and perfunctory. I wish to maintain these lifelong relationships. What are some guidelines and approaches that I might use? : Your ex-wife doesn’t “own” her family but it is her family of origin and so you have to overcome the coldness and ask her how she’d feel about you coming.

You do this because you don’t want her to feel that you’ve usurped a space of refuge for her. .