Q. I’ve been caregiving for my parents for several years, helping them stay in their home by cooking meals, shopping, assisting with bathing, managing their medications and medical appointments, and offering emotional support. Despite all my efforts, I can’t shake the feeling that it’s never enough.
How can I manage this guilt? A. It’s normal to feel guilt, resentment, and frustration in your caregiving journey from time to time. It’s important to examine your feelings of guilt and what you can do to address them.
Forgiving yourself is a critical step in being able to move on from guilt. Remember that you’re human – and nobody is perfect. Caregiving often stirs up complex emotions.
You’re not alone in feeling that, despite your best efforts, you’re falling short. But remember you’re human, not a superhero. Forgiving yourself is essential in managing guilt, and a powerful first step is recognizing what is within and beyond your control.
Here are a few tips that can help: - Shift your perspective. Ask yourself what’s truly in your control and what isn’t. It’s natural to replay past decisions and wonder if you could have done more.
However, be compassionate with yourself and consider how you’d respond if a friend were in the same position. Thinking beyond blame can relieve some pressure. - Set realistic caregiving goals.
Consider what you can genuinely manage. Define what “doing enough” means for you, given your own health, work, and personal resp.