Welcome to Chicago! The crime-ridden dystopian nightmare we call home. Stroll down Michigan Avenue, past the shuttered shops and the brazen thieves boldly pilfering luxury goods, confident the police won’t arrest them and the state’s attorney wouldn’t prosecute them if they did ..

. Whoops, that isn’t true. Chicago, glittering vacationland, home of the blues and deep-dish pizza, birthplace of the skyscraper.

A center for art — the location of Picasso’s only monumental sculpture, plus our beloved Bean, the shiniest, beaniest, most instantly beloved artwork on earth. We rose from the ashes and held the greatest fair of all time, so certainly we can hold another Democratic National Convention , our 27th major party convention , if you count the Progressive Party in 1912. So which is it? When the balloons drop Aug.

22 — I almost said “when the smoke clears” — what will be left of Chicago’s reputation? Another boost for sweet home Chicago, celebrated in song, cynosure of American life? Or will it be more body blows for the punching bag of the Western world? ‘Chicago can handle a big event’ Chicago boosters are confident the city will shine. “I believe Chicago is going to be a star,” said Guy Chipparoni, whose Res Publica Group promotes Lollapalooza and other big-ticket festivals. “Chicago can handle a big event.

” That much is true. From a purely attendance perspective, Chicago holds numerous trade shows that are bigger deals than the DNC — the ci.