Dear Carol: I’m crushed and uncertain how to move forward. My wife, 74, has spent years battling cancer with some success and a reasonable quality of life. Now, the disease has taken over her body and we’re in the stage of deciding what more, if anything, can be done.
The doctor has suggested that hospice care should be the next step. My head knows he he’s right, but my heart says she should not give up. My wife, of course, is who matters, and she says she’s tired of fighting when she can’t get better.
I suppose we’re looking for hope where there is none, or at least confirmation that hospice is a good decision. She’s been given an estimate of six months. What are your thoughts? – GT Dear GT: Your heartbreak shows through in your letter.
I’m so sorry that your wife and you need to go through this, but it’s obvious that you’ll support her. She’s fortunate to have you by her side. It may help to understand that hospice is not about giving up.
Rather, it’s about acceptance of reality and moving forward toward living the best life possible considering the circumstances. I’d urge you to talk with hospice staff soon and learn as much as you can about this support. It’s important to address the pros and cons of hospice at home vs.
hospice care delivered in a hospice facility or nursing home. Hospice can deliver services either way, so your wife, if admitted, could choose support at home. This would enable you to continue caring as you have been, but wit.