Housing benefits CHILDREN often have the most profound discussions. Primary school teacher Joyce Murdoch was listening to a breaktime conversation between two P7 pupils who happened to be in the playground, spying on a fat slug as it slimed its way across the tarmac. For some obscure reason this led one of the kids to make a bold pronouncement.
“A snail wouldnae ever marry a slug,” he said. “How no?” enquired his chum. “Cos slugs dinnae hae a shell on their backs,” explained the first wee fellow.
“And snails are pure snobs. So they look down their noses at slugs fur bein’ homeless.” The other child nodded solemnly.
Clearly this was the wisest thing he had ever heard. China crises MAN of the world John Mulholland has discovered that China’s strict internet regulators have launched a campaign to crack down on puns and homophones, by pronouncing them off-limits. The situation arose after it was discovered that for years ingenious citizens have been using wordplay to sneak criticism of the regime past the censors.
Says John: “Unfortunately anyone who attempts this from now on could end up in a pun-itentiary.” Hard to stomach ANIMAL angst is a genuine malady, and should be avoided at all costs. Reader Dan Miller was over in the States, visiting an American friend who is the proud owner of a pot-bellied pig.
Being an observant sort of chap, Dan said to his friend: “Oh. I see you’ve got a pot-bellied pig as a pet.” The friend was not happy about this st.