'A love letter to Sabrina the Teenage Witch's Harvey Kinkle: My childhood dream boyfriend who set the standard for men'

In the '90s, while avoiding my handwriting homework, I fell in love for the first time.He was kind, caring and sweet. He had the world's greatest sideburns. He played football, but he didn't hang out with the 'jocks'. In fact, he was not-great at football. I was enchanted by him. But he was in a relationship.Also, he was fictional.READ MORE: She was only four when she was a cover model. Then, she lost everythingREAD MORE: Seven words Aussie star needs to hear ahead of massive moveHarvey Kinkle was the main love interest of Sabrina Spellman (Melissa Joan Hart) in Sabrina the Teenage Witch (played awkwardly and adorably by Nate Richert). And in my young mind, he was the dreamiest boy on-screen. Sabrina makes us believe anything is possible. As a kid, I fantasised about pointing a finger to retrieve a forgotten textbook, or turn my bullies into pineapples. But some of the show's best magic is in Harvey and Sabrina's relationship.Harvey admires and encourages Sabrina in school and extra-curriculars. He's understanding when she can't spend time with him. He stands up for her when others ostracise her. And that's just in the Mortal Realm.For a daily dose of 9honey, subscribe to our newsletter here.Watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch on Stan.He also duels a troll for her, guides her as she crosses a burning bridge, and jumps over a pit of snakes to reach her. Even their first kiss is a sweet moment, and a great demonstration of asking for consent. When Sabrina writes an editorial arguing that schools favour sports over academics, Harvey is punished by his football coach with harder drills. Yet he tells her not to retract the article, saying, "It would be wrong for you to write something you don't believe in. No matter how it affects my spine".Outside of their relationship, Harvey has a stellar personality too. Another show would be tempted to portray him as a 'misunderstood' jock whose bully behaviour is a mask he wears to impress other jocks.EXCLUSIVE: Ryan Reynolds witnessed 'craziest' sight when Hugh Jackman walked on setREAD MORE: Secret side to INXS legend few knew aboutBut from episode one, Harvey doesn't bully anyone, not even to don a mask. He has trouble asserting himself and has to practise saying 'no' – adult me could relate.He cares for his pregnant mother (begrudgingly; he is a teenager), driving around to find the right breast cream and staying up to make her soy hot cocoa. And he's goofy; he steps on Sabrina's toes when they dance, he jumps on the bed singing, he talks with his mouth full of pancakes or pudding.Sure, he's a little, well, naïve. When Sabrina transforms Libby into a geek, Harvey muses: "There's something different about Libby. Did she change her hair?"But his gullibility is met with 'awws', not eye rolls. READ MORE: The remarkable rise and rise of emerging pop queen Chappell RoanREAD MORE: 'Daunting' revelation after star cast in history-making roleSabrina's secret often threatens to unravel their relationship. But Harvey stands by her, even when he has no idea what's going on. He just wants to be with her: "I'm willing to accept whatever weird situation she's in".Harvey seems like someone you could talk to, without fear of judgement. At a time when I was trying to fit in at school, Sabrina's high school life was a dream. Any jibes of 'freak' weren't as hurtful because she had magic powers. And her perfect boyfriend made things even more special. So, lying on the carpet before our bubble TV screen, I daydreamed about Harvey proclaiming his love. While terms like 'patriarchy' and 'toxic masculinity' would've soared over 1990s me's head, 2020s me watches Sabrina and thinks, FFS, Harvey's actions should be the bare minimum. But if we look at the context of the time, Harvey stands out as an exemplary partner.READ MORE: 'Absurd' belief about women inspired actress' new roleREAD MORE: Truth behind harrowing five minutes in Céline Dion documentaryWe now watch '90s television through a 2020s lens (I resist making a 'hindsight is 2020s' joke). That means we know other male characters from that era range from discomforting to problematic to toxic.At the time, there was a trend of stories about supernaturally-gifted women – think Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed. But these shows had problematic men behind the camera.Buffy creator Joss Whedon has been accused of being abusive on set, which he denies. And pretty much all Buffy's love interests have some deep-rooted misogynistic behaviour.Over on Charmed, Constance M. Burge left her executive producer role before season three because her male colleague, Brad Kern, wanted to introduce Cole. And, tbh, Cole's relationship with Phoebe (Alyssa Milano, who also kicked off the 2017 #MeToo Movement) is borderline abusive.READ MORE: Three decades of being by each other's side ripped away in an instantREAD MORE: Why star walked away from glittering career and massive salaryMeanwhile, on Sabrina, Harvey is actually nice. That might be because he was written by a woman. The show was created by Nell Scovell. She co-wrote Lean In, called out gender disparity and inappropriate behaviour at Late Night with David Letterman (he's since apologised), and wrote the book on female writers in comedy.Literally – it's called Just the Funny Parts: ... And a Few Hard Truths About Sneaking into the Hollywood Boys' Club. Her version of a teenage love interest is an actual nuanced character who can be jokey and play sport but also ~has feelings~. Sabrina is by no means perfect. Some parts haven't aged well, and its storylines could get a little repetitive. But as far as men in '90s sitcoms go, well, Harvey is waving a massive green flag.READ MORE: Twelve do's and dont's you need to know before going to BaliREAD MORE: Why this weighted blanket was my best impulse buySince hindsight is 2020s, we now criticise shows we can't change. But that means new shows can do better. As we move ahead, I want to see more Harveys on screen. More men who aren't afraid to be a little sensitive, who cherish their partners like Harvey does Sabrina. I know this article has sounded very 'Harvey ruined all other men for me', and Harvey certainly set a high bar. But, decades after crushing on Harvey, I now live with my wonderful partner, who exceeds it. He's beyond supportive and encouraging of my writing. He's kind and caring and playful. And he would definitely notice if someone showed up with a different appearance.Sabrina the Teenage Witch may be fantasy, but a man like Harvey is very real.Michelle See-Tho is a freelance writer, copywriter and author of Jade and Emerald, which won the 2023 Penguin Literary Prize.Jade and Emerald follows Lei Ling Wen who, bored of her demanding routine and frustrated by her strict Chinese-Malaysian mother, befriends elegant, worldly socialite Gigi Nu and finds herself suddenly thrust into a realm of luxury and freedom. Lei Ling also loves Sabrina the Teenage Witch.FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP HERE: Stay across all the latest in celebrity, lifestyle and opinion via our WhatsApp channel. No comments, no algorithm and nobody can see your private details.