It can be tempting to always say yes to a loved one’s dinner invite or be the friend who’s known as consistently easygoing. But showing up in the ways you think people want (and that aren’t best for you) can be a sign of people-pleasing . People-pleasing is “the urge or tendency to prioritize other people’s needs before your own, and it’s often at the expense of yourself,” said Joseé Muldrew , a licensed professional counselor and the founder of The Looking Glass , a private therapy practice in Georgia.
People-pleasing may look like agreeing to attend every event you’re invited to, but on a deeper level, the behavior is a way of avoiding uncomfortable feelings such as guilt, anxiety or rejection, said Natalie Moore , a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. For example, if you turn down an invite to someone’s dinner party, you may worry that they’ll drop you as a friend. People-pleasing is even harder to stop because society rewards behaviors associated with it — like saying yes to requests, putting others’ needs before your own and maintaining relationships, Moore added.
The first step in breaking your people-pleasing tendencies is to acknowledge the patterns and behaviors that feed it. Experts say there are some common personality traits that may be a sign of people-pleasing. Here’s what they are: 1.
Always Being Agreeable And Easygoing “Where do you want to go for dinner?” is a question that’s often met with “wherever” o.