If you somehow came out of your teenage years as a fully self-assured adult who always holds your head high, you’re lucky. Even for those of us who were fortunate enough to have great role models, a bunch of uncontrollable factors—including trauma , bullying and societal expectations—can make it really hard to feel self-assured. The good news, though, is that “being confident is a learned skill,” says Geoffrey Gold, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Therapists of New York.
And an important one at that: Believing in yourself won’t necessarily make you an expert at everything or get you whatever you want in life, but it will encourage you to take more risks and seize opportunities (by applying for a great job, perhaps—or leaving a toxic one). Not to mention, you’ll be a lot happier and have healthier relationships when you trust and accept yourself. Of course, we can’t just magically convince you that you’re smart enough, attractive enough, good enough if you’ve spent years struggling with self-doubt.
So don’t just take it from us. We asked therapists to share a handful of effective ways on how to build self-confidence and start trusting in your capabilities and judgment. 1.
Don’t be afraid to mess up “Confidence isn’t about being faultless and perfect. Instead, it’s more about believing in your ability to grow, adapt and improve,” says Adia Gooden, PhD, a clinical psychologist based in Chicago and host of the Unconditionally Worthy podcast. So r.